In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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