Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
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