? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
