so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
