I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
