I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
