I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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