Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
