who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
