Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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