also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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