what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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