Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize