you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
