instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
