Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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