another moral hangover. fuck.
her vagine was all disorganized.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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