Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize
