So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I'm having to shit out rocks
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