just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
