how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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