i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
