I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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