it hurts more in the daytime
i think i have herpe
just one?
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Randomize
