pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
your penis
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
