What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
not ubering you a puppy
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
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