she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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