Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I intend to get homeless drunk
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
