and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
