I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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