Heybabeimwearingurpanties
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize
