God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
bring money and cleavage
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize
