That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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