Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
