you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
