I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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