brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
