I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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