eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
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