Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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