Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
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