Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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