Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
