So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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