Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
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