Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
my sisters under your porch take her home
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I don't deserve a penis
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
