she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Randomize
