my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Someone shattered a urinal.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
