I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
drinking out of a sandbucket again
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
