Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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