I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
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