You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
