he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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