I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
