Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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