I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
