i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Randomize
