Farmville is her only friend.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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