I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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