just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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