Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
