After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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