Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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