I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
