This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
