I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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